I've been here before. It is hauntingly familiar. I guess someone has to tell you that you do indeed have cancer.....again. The world stops for a minute as you get run over by the cancer truck. Blindsided by this paradigm shift. Always a possibility, but a reality? Again?
My reality. In May 2023 I was diagnosed with recurrent breast cancer. In 2007, fifteen years ago, I was first diagnosed with invasive lobular carcinoma. It's back.
I did everything possible back in 2007 and 2008 to get a cure and ensure I would never face this again. A double mastectomy, a hysterectomy, six rounds of chemotherapy. And then I left breast cancer behind me.
Yet there I was, May 2023, sitting in a surgeon's office while she gently explained how surprising this new diagnosis is. This conversation is never easy, for patient or medical provider. I heard most of what she was saying but to be truly honest, I checked out a bit. I heard her speaking but my mind was already racing.
This was not supposed to happen. Not again. The odds of recurrence, so slim after a double mastectomy, and fifteen years later, are so slim. But not every single breast tissue cell can be removed. And some left behind in my body had decided too go rogue.
Referrals to specialty oncologists and surgeon. Discussions of potential treatments options. A "before" and "after" kind of conversation.
A lot has happened in the past month. Stick with me as it all unfolds.
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