A piece of my heart left Thursday morning as Craig took Brennan off to college at Boise State. I had really wanted to be the one to take him and move him in to his dorm. There's only one "first" at many things in life and stupid cancer has kept me from another special and important experience. I am super sad that he is gone. I already miss his presence in the house.
After saying goodbye I had an appointment with my surgeon. My lab results were much improved! However, there is still redness on the breast, which she readily acknowledged she is not quite sure what to make of. It could mean I still have an infection so I will have to return for another exam in a week and a half. She felt it best to delay the start of chemo by a week.
After the surgeon called and spoke to my chemo oncologist, my appointment for the next day was cancelled and rescheduled to piggyback my next surgeon appointment. I suppose intellectually I understand in some regards. But if my labs don't show infection, why keep delaying chemo? What if the breast is still red in a week and a half? There is a "sweet spot" for starting treatment post-surgery. I am leaving that window.
I am anxious about the delays and also had a number of questions about the cancer medications I am now on and the side effects I am experiencing. I called and was transferred around a bit, leaving several messages. I know it is a Friday but I was not impressed that everyone passed me along to another staff member.
No one wants chemo. But I am ready to rock and roll. If the only way to being well again includes it as the next step, let's go!
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